Prayer, Please....

Hello My Friends,

I really haven't disappeared, or fallen off the planet. We are just having serious issues with Eden.

We had her appointment in Phoenix yesterday to see how much weight she gained since the last appointment 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately, she lost 1/2 pound. My baby is 8 and 1/2 years old, and weighs 43 pounds. This is not good. You can see each vertabrae and rib, and every other bone that is sticking out of her skin.

I am asking for your prayers. The doctor wants to give her a few more days to see how she does, and if there is no improvement, he will do the upper GI.

Since she was still getting wheat in her diet (still trying to figure out how), it could be that the Celiac has just destroyed her intestines, or some other organs, like it did to me. But we need to find out how to get weight on her.

While her heart condition is all cleared up, she does still have 3 heart murmurs. We have been assured that the murmurs are not in dangerous locations, but it is the heart issue that makes us so nervous to have her go under a general anesthetic.

Since the weekend is coming, Dana and I are leaning toward calling the doctor tomorrow and asking him to just do whatever we need to do. Today has not been good. Please pray for the Lord to give us wisdom as we try to do what is best for Eden. I am terrified to put her under, but she HAS to start gaining weight, NOT keep losing it. And please pray for her healing.

In the meantime, I have gotten rid of half my kitchen: deep fryer, grain mill, bread machine, pasta maker, wooden spoons, cutting boards, stoneware, etc, etc, etc. The cost of replacing this stuff is a little overwhelming, but fortunately, not all of it is necessary, so some of it can wait. I am having a Pampered Chef party tonight to try to get some of it for free, like the stoneware and cutting boards. My pastor's wife just started selling PC, and she is doing up a grand gluten-free dinner for us tonight. I'm looking forward to relaxing a little bit. I've been a bit uptight. :(

Got more to update on my grandpa and that scenario, but it will have to wait for now. Hope to come back and catch up on reading blogs, :) , and update on Grandpa.

We sincerely appreciate your prayers.

Love you guys,
beth

Mary, Beautiful Mary

Well, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my baby sister's murder. I have so many mixed emotions. Has it ALREADY been a year? It seems like it happened yesterday. Has it ONLY been a year? It feels like I haven't talked to her in decades. My feelings go back and forth, and back and forth.

Since she was killed in the middle of the night on Valentine's Day, as soon as all the Valentine's stuff started showing up, the emotions started to swirl. I had hoped to be in No. Cal with my family this weekend, but couldn't make it happen. I spent much of Sunday on the phone with my brother's and mom.

It's difficult to reconcile a 22 year old mother, sister, wife, daughter, being ripped away from us, but I do see the Lord's hand in it all. I'm telling you, if I didnt' see his hand, I'd be a basket case. Pure and simple. I praise God He holds me in His palm. That security cradles me, and I need that.

2008 was such a challenging year for us. In the midst of it, I was just bobbing my head up occasionally for air, trying to stay alive. Now, as I look back, I see God's hand sustaining me. We were already dealing with horrible health issues when Mary was killed. Her death was followed by 4 more deaths in a 6 month period, 5 total during that time frame. I remember telling Dana, it can't go on much longer, there's not that many live family members left after this.

When I look back, initially I wonder how I got through. (Not that I'm entirely through it yet.) And I see God's grace raining down on me. Family and friends that came along side us, and held us up. God gives us loved ones for a reason, and I can't imagine life without them.

I remember the dear friends that stayed on the phone with me for HOURS, crying and praying with me. Oh, how much I needed that.

Friends that helped talk me through the police investigation, the autopsy report, the idea of preparing her body for the funeral, picking out the casket.

I remember the drive to California to bury her, and being out in the middle of the desert and seeing a HUGE falling star. It was the size of my van, the most ENORMOUS falling star I ever saw, and it fell RIGHT in front of us. Dana and I both saw it, and were literally in awe, our mouths gaping. Neither one of us had ever seen ANYTHING like it. It was like God was showing us that He still had control, in spite of how things felt. And He sent us a rare thing of beauty, in the midst of ugliness.

Mary is gone. But God is good. He is altogether good.

I made it past the first one year mark. This is good. I know that Valentine's Day will sometimes be difficult for me, sometimes melancholy, sometimes just depressing. Father's Day is similar, since that's the day my Dad died. But, I'm not saying this lightly, I still have Christmas. I am grateful for that.

I want to thank you, my friends, for being there for me when I needed it. I thank God for you. If occasionally I seem a little quiet, please bare with me. While the Lord has brought me a looong way, I am still working through all of this, and it just takes time.

I love you!

My Hard Core Diet Coke Addiction

IS OVER!!!!!

I have been addicted, seriously addicted, to Diet Coke for YEARS. I've never been a coffee drinker, but there's been many a morning when I've started my day with Diet Coke and then just kept drinking it throughout the day and night.

Imagine my horror, when while lying in bed recovering from surgery to remove the numerous uterine polyps I had, I watch a documentary on Nutrasweet and learn that Nutrasweet/Aspartame CAUSES uterine polyps!

Nutrasweet increases your risk for brain tumor by 80%. 80%!!! I always just assumed that since it was approved by the FDA, it must be safe. HA! The documentary explained HOW it got through the FDA and its right up there with Monsanto. Disgusting!

The documentary was called "Sweet Misery". You can get it from Netflix or watch it on-line here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-566922170441334340

I am so grateful that I never let my kids have diet soda, or light yogurt, but I have let them chew sugar-free gum all their little lives. Not anymore.

The pain of that surgery will prevent me from ever drinking diet soda again. I am so angry about how Nutrasweet got approved by the FDA, I just had to share the movie link.

I'm done ranting now. :)

Have a great Valentine's Day!

Part 2

The top paragraph was the last thing from Facebook:

Listen to this!! I put Hershey's Syrup in that milkshake and she still couldn't drink it. THEN, my friend just told me that she read on the internet that Hershey's changed their formula a few months ago and it now has GLUTEN in it!!!! It doesn't say that anywhere on it!!! It can be included in ingredients as 'natural flavorings' and never say wheat anywhere on the label. I'm pulling all of my hair out!!!! Just giving Eden Ensure for now, until I can find another option.Running my own farm and raising my own cattle would be the safest, but don't think my HOA would approve the cattle!

Okay, here is the new info.

We have put Eden on Ensure Plus, which is to help adults gain weight. She likes it and she's drinking it AND eating small meals whenever she can get it down. The doctor called back and said that the EnsurePlus was fine to give her, he was just trying to give us something that our insurance would cover. They will cover a prescription for 'medical food', but not for Ensure. That Ensure Plus is EXPENSIVE! But I don't care if I have to sell my house, we'll do whatever it takes to get that baby well.

In the meantime, my buddy Kelly D. gave me a recipe for chocolate syrup. All you do is melt a bar of Ghiradelli DARK baking chocolate in a cup of heavy cream with a little sugar. We have decided not to call it chocolate syrup, Kelly. It is now called "crack for ice cream". You weren't kidding that stuff is addicting! Mmmmmmm, Mmmmmmmm!!!

Lastly, something I didn't put on Facebook was the result of the DNA test the Dr. ran on Eden. Apparently, 95% of Celiacs have this D2Q marker and the other 5% of Celiacs have a D8Q marker. My little Eden carries BOTH of these markers. So, he said this could be why she is sooooo super sensitive to gluten. Now, I not only have to make sure there are no gluten ingredients, but I can't even buy something that's processed in a facility that uses wheat. Do you know how many things this cuts out for us? Almost every single packaged food. I can't think about it without sinking down in my chair a little bit.

BUT, God is soooo good. He will give us the strength and the grace to get through this. And I know a LOT worse things could have showed up in those tests, and we are eternally grateful they did not.

We have a trip to San Diego planned at the end of this month and eating out is going to be a challenge. There are several gluten-free restaurants in San Diego, but I think we'll be bringing most of our own food, since we can't afford these restaurants 3 times a day. Gluten-free food is very expensive.

Getting ready for all these classes today, so I will make my reading rounds as soon as I can. I miss reading your posts!

Much love and gratefulness.

Brief Update

Hello Again!

Life has been a little out of control lately, and I haven't had the time or gumption to get in here and get caught up. Wanted to just post a note for those of you that aren't on my Facebook page to give you a little update. Today's a very busy day, with Art class, Science classes, 30 minutes to make and eat dinner and then off to Awana. So to be brief, I am just going to copy and paste the note from Facebook.

Just have a minute to up date everyone during a very rough day.All of the poking and prodding they did on my baby showed that she DOESN'T have any horrible disease that her symptoms might indicate. Praising God for that!!! :)

However, the tests showed that her intestines are so screwed up because she is still getting gluten somewhere in her diet. This KILLS me, because, #1, it means her horrible misery for the last 2 and 1/2 months could have been avoided, and #2, I am responsible. I have been soooo diligent to be sure we are strictly gluten free, but apparently, she has an extremely high sensitivity to it. And I have missed something somewhere.

Our main issues right now are finding out where the gluten is in our diet, so we can remove it, and trying to get some weight on her. She is so thin and small, she has completely fallen off the height/weight chart. She's at a negative percentage.

She has been given prescription 'medical food' that she has to drink 3 times a day to try to bulk her up. We have been trying to get down the first cup since this morning with no luck. She HATES it. I've added chocolate syrup til the cows come home. Then her brother went to take a drink to show her it wasn't that bad and he promptly threw up. That didn't help.

Please pray we can discover where the gluten is that remains so elusive, and that she can get this nasty stuff down and start gaining weight. I can see the vertebrae in her little back, and it makes me want to cry. :(

Lastly, the doctor wants to do one more test that requires putting her under a general anesthesia. Please pray that God would give us wisdom in making the right decision regarding this.

So grateful for all my peeps. You're the BEST!!!

I will add to this shortly!

Love, me