Showered with Grace

Latest Quilt

2009-03-21T14:37:00.003-07:00

Just wanted to post a picture of the quilt I finished. This pattern is called Pinapple Express. The blocks can be twisted around and give a completely different look with each twist.

Joyful, Joyful

2009-03-21T12:25:00.003-07:00

Eden's biopsy results all came back normal! :) And she has gained over a pound! :)

The appetite stimulant medication is working, and the dr. also gave us a prescription to help her tummy heal faster. I think I've gotten rid of all things 'wheaty' in my kitchen and have been blessed enough to be able to replace most of those 'wheaty' items thanks to Kirstin's yard sale and an unexpected check. Isn't God wonderful?

In the meantime, I have been trying to keep busy so I won't worry so much and try to get caught up on all things I fell behind on around here during my surgeries. (It's quite embarrassing how behind I am in all things domestic, and otherwise.)

I actually finished my first quilt since Mary passed away (that felt REALLY good) and refinished an antique bookcase that belonged to my mom's mom. I've gotten most of the kitchen cabinets organized and hope to shampoo carpets next week. I've got a long list of 'stuff' to tackle, and I'm grateful to have the ability to do it! It feels great to use my feet!!! I've never been so happy to work.

Going to look for quilt pictures to post......

Eden, Of Course

2009-03-06T18:32:00.004-07:00

We made it through our hospital stay yesterday. Everyone was so incredibly wonderful at the hopsital and the Lord gave Eden and I both great courage and joy through the entire process. (Seriously thanking Him for that.) We continued to recall Jesus' words to the apostles when their boat got caught in a mighty storm. We found it encouraging that Jesus didn't just say, "Do not be afraid", he said, "be of good cheer, do not be afraid". Isn't that lovely? I'm sure the apostles must have thought they might possibly drown!!! And Jesus tells them to be of good cheer!!! Why? Because nothing happens to us outside of God's plan. How could we NOT be of good cheer?

Eden did just fine through the anesthesia, although the drive home was a bit rough. She was throwing up blood on the way home and just felt nauseous. But by the end of the day she was back to her normal self.

The endoscopy showed irritation and inflamation at the end of her esophagus, just before it meets her tummy. The doctor biopsied that and the small intestine as well. The small intestine is where Celiacs have trouble, but hers seemed to look pretty good. The esophagus was another story.

We go see the doctor on St.Patrick's day to get the biopsy results. (That's also the day I find out if I can start walking again.)

In the meantime, Eden is still not eating very well, or drinking enough fluids, so we could still use prayer for that.

I've been reminding myself about the 'good cheer' verse, because I keep slipping into depression. My soul is so dark at seeing Eden losing weight and not eating. And nothing I say or do can get food or drink in her. And then I step into my kitchen, where EVERY time I go in there, I find something else that is wooden or plastic that I have to get rid of. (Yes, Tricia, I found out gluten doesn't wash out of those things. But now I know why she still had gluten in her diet.)

There have been many blessings throughout this though. My friend Kirstin stopped by last night, brought Eden a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and picked up a MOUNTAIN of kitchen goods that I have to toss. She priced them all for me and is selling them in a yardsale for me. She is doing all the work, and I can't even say what a blessing that is. The money she raises will go to start replacing some of that stuff.

Didn't intend to write this much! Ha!!! I never do!!! Off to try to get Eden to eat something.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

Eden

2009-03-02T12:09:00.002-07:00

Just wanted to give a brief update on Eden.

Last week was horrible. I was supposed to make sure she was getting 3 meals a day AND drinking at least 4 Ensure Pluses a day. Thursday she got down a small bowl of cereal and then couldn't eat for the rest of the day. Same thing Friday. Knowing that she's losing weight and won't eat, makes me struggle with how to approach it all. Would a good mom force feed her kid? I don't think that's the answer, but then what is? For now, we pray and wait on God.

I called her doctor on Friday and they are going to contact her cardiologist for clearance to put her under a general. If they get the clearance, she will go in this Thursday up at Phoenix Baptist Hopsital for the upper GI. I was assured that the pediatric anesthesiologist they use is extremely good and works with VERY sick children all the time. I was glad to hear that.

I praise God for his promise in Hebrews that He will never leave us or forsake us. I know we are not going through this alone.

I was so terrified when she wouldn't eat, but yesterday was a much better day. She ate 3 small meals and drank 3 Ensure Pluses. This was a HUGE improvement, and very encouraging. Still short of where she should be, but yesterday was pretty close. I'm hoping she will continue to improve in this area.

The Lord is blessing us throughout this in mighty ways. I had a Pampered Chef party last week so that I could get a discount to replace part of my kitchen stuff. The most humbling, awesome, encouraging thing happened at that party. After everyone left, Stephanie showed me what everyone ordered. Every single person that came ordered something for ME, almost $300 worth of stuff for me. I am so blown away, and so moved. I just figured as people bought stuff for themselves I would earn discounts and credits for my own order. I was shocked and so grateful. What an incredible group of friends I have, and what a blessing from my Saviour. It was a truly beautiful surprise!

I was especially grateful for all the great PC stuff, as I found out I also have to throw out all of my tupperware, plastic, colanders, rolling pins, etc. Its really something to stand in my kitchen and look around at what I've accumulated over 20 years of marriage, to think about how I started with nothing in there, and now I throw it all out and start all over again, just like a newlywed. Its a bit overwhelming, but at least now I have my answer as to where Eden was still getting gluten in her diet, even though we were eating gluten-free.

My friend Kirstin is going to host a yard sale at her house so that I can sell all of this stuff. I tried to give it to friends, but they all insisted I sell it for cash for new stuff. For now most of it is piled up on the bed in the guest room. My mom is going to come over today and help me pack up the rest of it and then reorganize my kitchen. My mom is the organization queen. I have always helped my friends paint their houses, my mom has always helped her friends organize. Thank God for her!!! :)

Thank you for your continued prayers. I'll update as I can.

Love, hugs, and thank yous,
beth

Prayer, Please....

2009-02-26T15:46:00.003-07:00

Hello My Friends,

I really haven't disappeared, or fallen off the planet. We are just having serious issues with Eden.

We had her appointment in Phoenix yesterday to see how much weight she gained since the last appointment 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately, she lost 1/2 pound. My baby is 8 and 1/2 years old, and weighs 43 pounds. This is not good. You can see each vertabrae and rib, and every other bone that is sticking out of her skin.

I am asking for your prayers. The doctor wants to give her a few more days to see how she does, and if there is no improvement, he will do the upper GI.

Since she was still getting wheat in her diet (still trying to figure out how), it could be that the Celiac has just destroyed her intestines, or some other organs, like it did to me. But we need to find out how to get weight on her.

While her heart condition is all cleared up, she does still have 3 heart murmurs. We have been assured that the murmurs are not in dangerous locations, but it is the heart issue that makes us so nervous to have her go under a general anesthetic.

Since the weekend is coming, Dana and I are leaning toward calling the doctor tomorrow and asking him to just do whatever we need to do. Today has not been good. Please pray for the Lord to give us wisdom as we try to do what is best for Eden. I am terrified to put her under, but she HAS to start gaining weight, NOT keep losing it. And please pray for her healing.

In the meantime, I have gotten rid of half my kitchen: deep fryer, grain mill, bread machine, pasta maker, wooden spoons, cutting boards, stoneware, etc, etc, etc. The cost of replacing this stuff is a little overwhelming, but fortunately, not all of it is necessary, so some of it can wait. I am having a Pampered Chef party tonight to try to get some of it for free, like the stoneware and cutting boards. My pastor's wife just started selling PC, and she is doing up a grand gluten-free dinner for us tonight. I'm looking forward to relaxing a little bit. I've been a bit uptight. :(

Got more to update on my grandpa and that scenario, but it will have to wait for now. Hope to come back and catch up on reading blogs, :) , and update on Grandpa.

We sincerely appreciate your prayers.

Love you guys,
beth

Mary, Beautiful Mary

2009-02-16T20:08:00.003-07:00

Well, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my baby sister's murder. I have so many mixed emotions. Has it ALREADY been a year? It seems like it happened yesterday. Has it ONLY been a year? It feels like I haven't talked to her in decades. My feelings go back and forth, and back and forth.

Since she was killed in the middle of the night on Valentine's Day, as soon as all the Valentine's stuff started showing up, the emotions started to swirl. I had hoped to be in No. Cal with my family this weekend, but couldn't make it happen. I spent much of Sunday on the phone with my brother's and mom.

It's difficult to reconcile a 22 year old mother, sister, wife, daughter, being ripped away from us, but I do see the Lord's hand in it all. I'm telling you, if I didnt' see his hand, I'd be a basket case. Pure and simple. I praise God He holds me in His palm. That security cradles me, and I need that.

2008 was such a challenging year for us. In the midst of it, I was just bobbing my head up occasionally for air, trying to stay alive. Now, as I look back, I see God's hand sustaining me. We were already dealing with horrible health issues when Mary was killed. Her death was followed by 4 more deaths in a 6 month period, 5 total during that time frame. I remember telling Dana, it can't go on much longer, there's not that many live family members left after this.

When I look back, initially I wonder how I got through. (Not that I'm entirely through it yet.) And I see God's grace raining down on me. Family and friends that came along side us, and held us up. God gives us loved ones for a reason, and I can't imagine life without them.

I remember the dear friends that stayed on the phone with me for HOURS, crying and praying with me. Oh, how much I needed that.

Friends that helped talk me through the police investigation, the autopsy report, the idea of preparing her body for the funeral, picking out the casket.

I remember the drive to California to bury her, and being out in the middle of the desert and seeing a HUGE falling star. It was the size of my van, the most ENORMOUS falling star I ever saw, and it fell RIGHT in front of us. Dana and I both saw it, and were literally in awe, our mouths gaping. Neither one of us had ever seen ANYTHING like it. It was like God was showing us that He still had control, in spite of how things felt. And He sent us a rare thing of beauty, in the midst of ugliness.

Mary is gone. But God is good. He is altogether good.

I made it past the first one year mark. This is good. I know that Valentine's Day will sometimes be difficult for me, sometimes melancholy, sometimes just depressing. Father's Day is similar, since that's the day my Dad died. But, I'm not saying this lightly, I still have Christmas. I am grateful for that.

I want to thank you, my friends, for being there for me when I needed it. I thank God for you. If occasionally I seem a little quiet, please bare with me. While the Lord has brought me a looong way, I am still working through all of this, and it just takes time.

I love you!

My Hard Core Diet Coke Addiction

2009-02-14T15:51:00.002-07:00

IS OVER!!!!!

I have been addicted, seriously addicted, to Diet Coke for YEARS. I've never been a coffee drinker, but there's been many a morning when I've started my day with Diet Coke and then just kept drinking it throughout the day and night.

Imagine my horror, when while lying in bed recovering from surgery to remove the numerous uterine polyps I had, I watch a documentary on Nutrasweet and learn that Nutrasweet/Aspartame CAUSES uterine polyps!

Nutrasweet increases your risk for brain tumor by 80%. 80%!!! I always just assumed that since it was approved by the FDA, it must be safe. HA! The documentary explained HOW it got through the FDA and its right up there with Monsanto. Disgusting!

The documentary was called "Sweet Misery". You can get it from Netflix or watch it on-line here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-566922170441334340

I am so grateful that I never let my kids have diet soda, or light yogurt, but I have let them chew sugar-free gum all their little lives. Not anymore.

The pain of that surgery will prevent me from ever drinking diet soda again. I am so angry about how Nutrasweet got approved by the FDA, I just had to share the movie link.

I'm done ranting now. :)

Have a great Valentine's Day!

Part 2

2009-02-11T10:18:00.002-07:00

The top paragraph was the last thing from Facebook:

Listen to this!! I put Hershey's Syrup in that milkshake and she still couldn't drink it. THEN, my friend just told me that she read on the internet that Hershey's changed their formula a few months ago and it now has GLUTEN in it!!!! It doesn't say that anywhere on it!!! It can be included in ingredients as 'natural flavorings' and never say wheat anywhere on the label. I'm pulling all of my hair out!!!! Just giving Eden Ensure for now, until I can find another option.Running my own farm and raising my own cattle would be the safest, but don't think my HOA would approve the cattle!

Okay, here is the new info.

We have put Eden on Ensure Plus, which is to help adults gain weight. She likes it and she's drinking it AND eating small meals whenever she can get it down. The doctor called back and said that the EnsurePlus was fine to give her, he was just trying to give us something that our insurance would cover. They will cover a prescription for 'medical food', but not for Ensure. That Ensure Plus is EXPENSIVE! But I don't care if I have to sell my house, we'll do whatever it takes to get that baby well.

In the meantime, my buddy Kelly D. gave me a recipe for chocolate syrup. All you do is melt a bar of Ghiradelli DARK baking chocolate in a cup of heavy cream with a little sugar. We have decided not to call it chocolate syrup, Kelly. It is now called "crack for ice cream". You weren't kidding that stuff is addicting! Mmmmmmm, Mmmmmmmm!!!

Lastly, something I didn't put on Facebook was the result of the DNA test the Dr. ran on Eden. Apparently, 95% of Celiacs have this D2Q marker and the other 5% of Celiacs have a D8Q marker. My little Eden carries BOTH of these markers. So, he said this could be why she is sooooo super sensitive to gluten. Now, I not only have to make sure there are no gluten ingredients, but I can't even buy something that's processed in a facility that uses wheat. Do you know how many things this cuts out for us? Almost every single packaged food. I can't think about it without sinking down in my chair a little bit.

BUT, God is soooo good. He will give us the strength and the grace to get through this. And I know a LOT worse things could have showed up in those tests, and we are eternally grateful they did not.

We have a trip to San Diego planned at the end of this month and eating out is going to be a challenge. There are several gluten-free restaurants in San Diego, but I think we'll be bringing most of our own food, since we can't afford these restaurants 3 times a day. Gluten-free food is very expensive.

Getting ready for all these classes today, so I will make my reading rounds as soon as I can. I miss reading your posts!

Much love and gratefulness.

Brief Update

2009-02-11T10:11:00.002-07:00

Hello Again!

Life has been a little out of control lately, and I haven't had the time or gumption to get in here and get caught up. Wanted to just post a note for those of you that aren't on my Facebook page to give you a little update. Today's a very busy day, with Art class, Science classes, 30 minutes to make and eat dinner and then off to Awana. So to be brief, I am just going to copy and paste the note from Facebook.

Just have a minute to up date everyone during a very rough day.All of the poking and prodding they did on my baby showed that she DOESN'T have any horrible disease that her symptoms might indicate. Praising God for that!!! :)

However, the tests showed that her intestines are so screwed up because she is still getting gluten somewhere in her diet. This KILLS me, because, #1, it means her horrible misery for the last 2 and 1/2 months could have been avoided, and #2, I am responsible. I have been soooo diligent to be sure we are strictly gluten free, but apparently, she has an extremely high sensitivity to it. And I have missed something somewhere.

Our main issues right now are finding out where the gluten is in our diet, so we can remove it, and trying to get some weight on her. She is so thin and small, she has completely fallen off the height/weight chart. She's at a negative percentage.

She has been given prescription 'medical food' that she has to drink 3 times a day to try to bulk her up. We have been trying to get down the first cup since this morning with no luck. She HATES it. I've added chocolate syrup til the cows come home. Then her brother went to take a drink to show her it wasn't that bad and he promptly threw up. That didn't help.

Please pray we can discover where the gluten is that remains so elusive, and that she can get this nasty stuff down and start gaining weight. I can see the vertebrae in her little back, and it makes me want to cry. :(

Lastly, the doctor wants to do one more test that requires putting her under a general anesthesia. Please pray that God would give us wisdom in making the right decision regarding this.

So grateful for all my peeps. You're the BEST!!!

I will add to this shortly!

Love, me

Prayer Requests

2009-01-24T17:50:00.003-07:00

I'd really like to post some updates, but I only have a few minutes right now and I have a couple of prayer requests I'd like to present.

First, I'd like to ask prayer for my nephew. I won't mention his name here, but he tried to commit suicide last night. He is okay for now. It only just recently came to light that he has inherited his dad's bi-polar disorder. My nephew has just started experiencing 'rapid cycling' which is very dangerous. He has no insurance and desperately needs help. Please pray for him, and his mom and dad. They are very upset.

Second, I'd like to ask for prayer for my Eden. She does finally seem to be improving somewhat. The pediatric gastro has ordered some more tests: an x-ray and more blood work. Please pray for Eden, she doens't know about the blood work. She is horribly terrified of having her blood drawn and I know the x-ray will make her nervous as well. We'll take her in on Monday to have those done. We have decided to not tell her yet about the blood work, because she will spend the entire weekend obsessing about it and crying. Please pray for us, that our Lord would give us the right words and comfort for our baby girl.

Thank you so much.

Love you!!!

me

Don't Pay For Cable....

2009-01-03T19:53:00.004-07:00

I've watched episodes of The Office on-line when I've missed it on T.V. But never thought of watching everything on-line to avoid a bill. I like that idea!

This article lists links that offer cable/satellite shows on-line: http://weblog.dollarish.com/dollarish/687818735/stop-paying-for-cable-save-your-monthly-cash-heres-how.html?page=1

A Pause in The Month's Activities

2009-01-02T10:12:00.007-07:00

Howdy! I'm still recovering from the surgeries and the flu. I can't sit at the computer for long without my foot hurting. So unlike my usual rambling posts, thought I'd just post a couple of photos today.

The first ones are from the kids Christmas Piano recital. Eden has been so sick she almost didn't make it. We didn't know until it was time to leave whether she'd be able to pull it off or not. She did though, and she did a great job. And Kenneth, that boy is gifted in music, actually, they both are. The piano recitals are twice a year, once at Christmas and once again in the spring. I always love listening to all the kids and hearing how much each one of them has improved from the previous recital. I was pretty proud of all of those kids!

This one's my favorite. I can't believe those beautiful children came out of ME!

This last picture is the shoe I now have to wear on my foot at all times for the next several weeks. Its quite attractive and I've had a blast trying not to tip over and break my face.

The good news, you will not see any man stubble on my leg. After two weeks, I was finally able to have my stitches removed and get that leg/foot wet. My one-legged man days are over! Woo Hoo!!! I soak and ice it daily now and start physical therapy next week. Watch out P.F. Chang's January 2009, here I come!!!

Looking forward to catching up on your blogs. Hope your Christmases were blessed and that your New Year is filled with bountiful joy! God bless you my friends!

Guy Smiley, or Not (Does anyone remember him?)

2008-12-17T18:05:00.003-07:00

Got home from surgery number one a few hours ago, and I'm still a little dopey, but let's see how this comes out anyway! :)

I've been frantically running wild, trying to get EVERYTHING done before the surgeries began. I'm done shopping, wrapping, shipping, cleaning what's going to get cleaned and paid the bills. (No Christmas letter yet, for those who have asked.) I even got a hair cut, cut most of it off too, and I love it! One of the errands I had to do was to try to find a pair of cloggy looking shoes to wear post surgery, something to try to match the crazy frankenstein shoe I now have to wear on my left foot.

I can no longer wear flip-flops or cheap, thin shoes, since that is what got me into this mess. (Let that be a lesson to you kids.) Add that to having short, wide feet, and it now takes me longer than ever to find what I need. Monday afternoon Eden was feeling a little better and wanted to be with me, so we set out in search of the 'shoes'.

I don't even know how many stores we had been to with no luck, and each stop, Eden's stomach is starting to get a little more nauseous. By the time we made it to the last store, I knew this HAD to be the last store. I would just have to buy something and get my baby home. Every shoe they brought out that didn't fit, Eden would whine just a little louder. With each whine I asked myself, why did I agree to bring her? My nerves were frazzled. I was hungry. Eden was hungry. The young kid helping me kept trying to get me to try on a $125 pair of shoes, obviously paid on commission. I was done. I grabbed the pair that fit the best, which of course, were uglier than the old-lady orthopedic shoes I have to wear now, and went to pay so we could get home. By now Eden is thoroughly upset. I paid, grabbed my bag, grabbed Eden's precious little hand and turned to leave. As a I turned, my bag accidentally hit this older guy, who appeared to be dripping with money-clothes, jewelry, etc. I said, "Oh, please excuse me, I'm so sorry", and he just glared at me. He didn't speak a word, just glared, and walked completely around me. I was so frazzled, and so stressed out with everything going on and coming up, before I realized what was happening my eyes started to fill with tears. But then....Jesus called to mind the week Mary died, and our car trip from southern Arizona to Northern California. And I was comforted. Let me share with you just one instance from that trip.

It was me, Dana, the kids and my sister Danielle. We had found out maybe 24 hours prior that Mary had been murdered. We had so many questions and so much grief and shock. We had stopped somewhere near Mohave in a little town that must have had population 5, to get gas and some junk food. The whole drive prior to that, whenever we had a signal, we were on the phone with family in No. Cal. getting updates, comforting and be comforted. The drive involved spontaneous bursts of tears as we realized where we were going and why, and sweet smiles as we recalled Mary's life. But it was a hard drive. A sad drive. My mom had just called and said she wanted help picking out the casket and that she wanted me to help dress Mary's body. So this is where I was when we went into this store.

I was frantically trying to find something without gluten for Eden and trying not to contemplate the reason for this trip. Dani, Dana and I all managed to reach the register at the same time, and as soon as we got there, the lady asked us, "How are you doing today?". And the world stopped. It really did stop, or least pause. Dani, Dana and I all just stopped and turned and stared at each other, completely unaware of how we should answer this question. We searched each others eyes completely dumbfounded by this simple, ordinary question, and totally clueless how to answer.

Now, any other time, the answer would have been an entirely automatic, "just fine, how are you?". But for all three of us, for the first time, this question stumped us. The three of us all stopped staring at each other and turned to the clerk and said in unison, "fine". From our significantly delayed reaction, she probably thought we had robbed a bank, or had kidnapped these beautiful children. But as far as I know, she didn't call the cops.

This, I realized, was my first encounter with someone other than family since we had gotten this terrible news. And I realized that as we worked our way to No.Cal., I would be confronted with this question regularly, and I needed to be able to say, "fine", without this dramatic pause in between.

As the days and weeks passed, I was asked that question. And, I did learn how to say "fine", in a believable tone. But there were so many times I wanted to say, "I'm terrible, my baby sister was just murdered, how are you?" There were other times, when I'd be out, that someone would just smile at me. Those smiles became gifts, but the honest truth is that sometimes I didn't smile back. This is so unlike me and was NEVER intentional, because by nature I am a friendly person, but what would happen is that I would be so deep in thought that I wouldn't even realize someone had smiled at me until they had walked by and it was too late to smile back. The person would be long gone and it would register, hey, they smiled at me. I always felt terrible when that happened, but for the first time in my life, I realized that when someone didn't return a smile, it might be because it was impossible for them at the specific time.

Now, I am not excusing rudeness by any means whatsoever. But the honest truth is, smiles really are gifts, and if someone doesn't smile back, it doens't mean that they don't appreciate the smile or that they even recognized it. Now, when I smile at a stranger (I can finally smile again), if they don't smile back, I don't take it personally, I pray for them. There's a reason people don't smile back, and it's never a good one.

I can say, that I truly appreciate each smile I got during those rough, dark months. I felt like each smile was a little hug from God. Smiles are reminders that not everybody is evil or hateful. They are free, simple ways to share love, and make a difference when things suck.

I try to smile even more now. I'm always blessed when people smile back, and shocked at how many don't. But those are opportunities for prayer.

Sending you a smile,
:)

Quilting Ladies ROCK!

2008-12-12T10:56:00.004-07:00

Hello Friends!

Those of you that are my Facebook friends already know that Eden has been pretty sick since the day before Thanksgiving. Just to give a brief update for those who aren't on Facebook, she has been nauseous and having bone pain. Her doctors have agreed what tests to order and they both believe it is related to her Celiac. Even though she has been on a gluten-free diet for almost a year, they think that now that her insides have healed and she has started growing that these issues (that may have been masked when she was suffering from Celiac) have now become clearer. I don't know about all that, all I know is she has been sick for way to long and is missing out on a lot of fun things right now. We are awaiting test results that we hope to get back today or early next week and they have started her on a natural drink that is supposed to clear her intestines, and hopefully clear the nausea. She's been on the drink since Tuesday night, no progress yet. Please keep my precious darling in your prayers.

Did I mention that quilting ladies ROCK?!?! I belong to a very special group of quilters that meets from October through March. When I was there last Tuesday, one of these incredible women (named Adele) came up to me and said I heard Eden has been sick for sometime now. (She's never met Eden, and I don't even know how she heard she was sick.) I told her yes and gave her an update. She said, "Well, I HATE to see children suffer, and I have a very special porcelain doll, that is tired of living at my house without any children." (I am the only woman in the group that is not retired and living the golden years.) She told me she brought the doll today and wanted to give it to me to give to Eden with her love. I was shocked. First, because I didn't even know she knew Eden was sick, but secondly, was so surprised that she wanted to give Eden a 'special, porcelain doll'. And third, because it was an answer to prayer. You know how God answers prayer in unexpected ways....

So I go out to her car with her to get this doll, and imagine my surprise to see that this doll is the same size as Eden!!! I can't imagine what this doll must have cost her. Adele pulled this life-size doll out of her car and handed it to me crying, saying, "please tell your daughter that we're praying for her, and keep us updated". Oh, my heart! And it just happened that I was leaving quilting early that day to take Eden to get her blood drawn. She is TERRIFIED of having blood drawn and HATES it. She had been so sad and crying and I was praying for God to please help us encourage Eden to be brave and understand that the blood work was going to help us help her feel better. We were praying for God to comfort her and calm her. And then God sends this incredible doll through Adele!!! Only moments before her Dr. appointment. I started crying and told Adele what we had been praying. (It wasn't the material object, in and of itself, it was this little porcelain friend that Eden talk to and hold.) God is so faithful to bless us, even in times of need.

I have to share a picture of Eden with this doll:

Isn't it beautiful? Not only is the doll porcelain, but even her jewelry is porcelain. It still has this tag on it that the doll was limited to 2000 total. I was so awed at such an extravagant gift. I kept asking Adele if she was sure, and she said absolutely, the doll NEEDED a little girl. :)

What a blessing! I am so grateful to serve a Saviour who never forgets us, especially in our times of need.

Are you a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else?

2008-12-05T23:45:00.002-07:00

Okay, Tricia and Alicia took this quiz on their blogs and my interest was piqued. After reading Tricia's description of Doris Day, I thought, Oh, I bet that's how mine would come up. NOT! I was surprised, but mine came up as Grace. I don't have any problems with that! I've always admired her.

This quiz reminded me a lot of horoscopes. You know how you can read the attributes of each sign, and there's always something that applies to you. Don't get nervy, I don't follow horoscopes, that's just what this reminded me. I was truly surprised that only 2 questions delivered the answer, and more surprised that the answer was definitely in line with my personality, almost dead on. Ah, the insights of psychology! :)

Here's my answer:

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Grace!

You are a Grace -- "I need to understand the world."

Graces have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

* Be independent, not clingy
* Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
* I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts
* Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable
* Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity
* If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place
* don't come on like a bulldozer
* Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy

What I Like About Being a Grace* standing back and viewing life objectively* coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects* my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure* not being caught up in material possessions and status* being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Grace

* being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
* feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
* being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
* watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Graces as Children Often

* spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
* have a few special friends rather than many
* are very bright and curious and do well in school
* have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
* watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
* assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
* are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
* feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Graces as Parents

* are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
* are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
* may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
* may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at

Challenging Days

2008-12-03T10:02:00.004-07:00

First things first, I thought I had put a link in my last post to Julie's GREAT Christmas post, but I don't see it. So I'm trying it again. If you haven't read it, please check it out, what an encouragement to enjoy the simple pleasures of Christmas.

Okay, now on to life. Life is so......well, its so......how can I say this? Let's say challenging, shall we? Life is actually LOTS of things, but just for the moment, let's say its challenging. My precious Grandpa, the one I love soooo much that I named my son after him, was brought out here about 2 or 3 weeks ago and dropped off at my mom's. His wife just couldn't handle his memory issues anymore. They are both in their 80's and it just got to be too much for her. She drove out from California to drop him off, was here maybe 20 minutes, and then drove all the way back to California. My Grandpa is so hurt he won't even mention her name. My mom is struggling being her dad's parent. Its....challenging.

Yesterday, my Mom went for a routine dr. visit and they discovered multiple goiters and lumps and bumps on her thyroid. They did biopsies then and there, but the stress in Mom's house was already pretty high before this. They said they'd have her biopsies back by Monday, so at least there won't be a long wait. My mom is having several health issues right now, and each time we discover a new issue, its like another piece of the puzzle to issues she's had for over 20 years now. Hopefully these issues will help explain her other issues. But I can see she's concerned, she's responsible for caring for her dad now, and as she puts it, she can't afford to be sick. Her life is......challenging.

Now for me, sitting here watching my Grandpa, one of the greatest men in my entire life, return to a child like dependence, and watching my mom starting to have all kinds of medical 'things' popping up, unnerves me. Oh, I know its part of the circle of life, we come into this world entirely dependent on others for our physical well being. and if we live long lives, we often go out entirely depending on others for our physical well being. I know that this is how God made us and that God is in control of this too, but its hard to watch your parents age. As we age, our parents age, and I see lots of my friends struggling with the very same issue: aging parents and how to care for them. I know I'm aging, but it just seemed like THIS challenge was still in the distant future for me. Hmmmmm.......good thing I have a Saviour!!!

This life IS challenging, and I just can't imagine walking through it without the Lord supporting me and sustaining me. I praise Him that my peace comes from within, but boy, how I would like to see my Mom and Grandpa have that peace too. This is my prayer. That through these challenging circumstances, they would seek Him who can meet ALL their needs. Afterall, if I haven't learned anything else, I do know that challenges help us grow closer to Him. If we never lean on Him, we will never know His enduring love and support for us. So I'm leaning, and I'm leaning hard!

Meanwhile, back at blogger.......

2008-12-01T19:04:00.006-07:00

Howdy!

I honestly don't plan on moving my blog every other year, its just that Xanga changed and I lost a lot of my freedom there, and blogger has changed and allows more freedom now than before. I don't like constraints. Ha Ha!!!

It feels so weird to blog after not blogging for so long. I miss it, but it seems odd that anyone else would want to read whats in my frazzled mind. But frazzled as it is, lets explore it! :)

I was so encouraged by the post on Julie's blog about not spending money for Christmas. Honestly, how can you really appreciate the true spirit of Christmas if all you're thinking about is money? I don't think it is possible. Every year I think I'm going to make hand made gifts, and every year I wait too long. If I'm lucky I get one or two handmade gifts out, but thats about it. I'm resolving to improve that ratio!!! That was a great post Julie! Thanks!

In other news, December is going to be a doozy here. I'll be having foot surgery on the 17th and the uterine surgery on the 23rd. Now that I'm sitting down thinking about it, it seems CRAZY to go under a week apart!!! And so close to Christmas. But we have met our deductible for the year, and I told them to please do everything that needs to be done before the end of the year. Ahhhh, money and insurance.

The foot surgery will keep me off my foot for 4 to 6 weeks. So all of my Christmas preparations will need to be done before the 16th! Yikes!!! I better get busy!!! The hard part will be that I will need help getting my kids to where they need to be and I HATE being a burden. I'm a proud girl, and I know I shouldn't be.

I am so excited, though, to have my foot fixed and to know that I can be back on my treadmill or at least walking the track in a couple of months. I haven't been able to exercise (other than swimming) since last spring. So I am really excited to have the hope of using my foot again. Who knew I was taking my feet for granted???

Speaking of which, it is so easy for us to take advantage of our good health, isn't it? As long as things are working, we don't even think about things like feet, or hands, or even uteruses. Ha Ha!!! :) But I'm telling you, we need our feet!!! It's so obvious, but think of all the things you do with your feet. You play with your kids, you walk through the grocery store, you stand in church to sing, you wash dishes, mow the lawn, hang Christmas decorations. And all, with the help of your feet. I've come to appreciate my feet. They support me, good times and bad, just like a great friend. Thank you God for my feet!

:)